Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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