are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
