...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
