Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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