So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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