Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
