i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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