so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
