i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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