I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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