is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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