You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
