what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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