i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
