Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
