it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
