Pregnant stripper...not hot.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
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