dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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