I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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