party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
