I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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