you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
