i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
