do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
