I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
