Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
