some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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