Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
