is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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