He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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