I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Its about making memories worth repressing
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
