Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
