I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
