i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
