You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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