you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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