we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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