honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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