dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
