Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
