It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize