Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
