butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
she was so not down for the gang bang
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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