Your face is a jimmy john
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
