I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize