She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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