I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
