But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
