you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
