you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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