She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
