Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize
